


Buttafyngas

by lea_ysaye



Category: Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, The Walking Dead RPF
Genre: Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 12:26:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5090699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_ysaye/pseuds/lea_ysaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Norman made a thing, and his new pet project is driving his colleagues up the wall…</p><p>Quick one shot, meant to amuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buttafyngas

**Author's Note:**

> C'mon, guys, how could I not, after he spammed the twittersphere with this last week? Sorry, not sorry...
> 
> This story is, of course, pure fantasy. My filthy mind is to blame entirely.

If it had been anyone but Norman the others would have complained days ago. As it was, Melissa was the one to lose patience first.

"Norman, if you don't turn that off right now, I'll have Greg confiscate your phone as soon as you get here in the morning!" she snapped at him when he passed her seat just as another _I'm not a fucking baseball_ rang across the mess hall, slightly distorted by the phone’s volume turned up to max but clearly recognizably Norman's New York-infused twang.

With a smirk and a flourish Norman turned his phone to silent as he came sauntering across the room and dropped into a chair next to Andy.

“Isn’t this awesome?”

In truth, Andy found it fucking annoying by now, pardon the language, but it was hard to be cross when his friend was beaming wider as if he’d just won an Emmy. And this, Andy thought, probably really meant more to Norman than any nomination ever would.

Steven made a face. “It was awesome the first fifty times or so, man. Now it’s wearing a bit thin…”

Norman fiddled with his phone again, then slammed it hard onto the table. _Whoa fuck come on_ sounded through the room at high volume.

“NORMAN!” Even that chorus of ten or so of their colleagues couldn’t quite drown out a _What the fuck is wrong with you?_ as Norman slammed the phone down again.

“Fans are gonna love this!”

The enthusiasm in Norman’s voice was genuine, and it gave Andy a warm glow in his chest. When he looked at Steven rolling his eyes, however, that feeling evaporated. Andy put a hand over Norman’s as his friend was about to pick the phone up again to select another phrase.

“They really will, man. But give it a rest now, huh?”

Norman looked at Andy, slightly uncertain, but then nodded. He pressed the off button and put the phone down, then devoted himself to his lunch.

Melissa threw Andy a grateful look. Andy felt pleased that Norman listened to him, even if only occasionally, but raining on Norman’s parade was not exactly his idea of fun. He leaned in close to Norman and muttered, “My favorite is the one with the hand washing”.

Norman grinned at him. “That was such an awesome thing to do,” he enthused. “I can’t remember when I’ve ever had that much fun doing something I get paid for…”

“Right,” boomed Greg’s voice over the general bustle in the room. “Steven, Norm, Andy, Mel, ten minutes. We got a bit of a drive to that location. Make sure to check in with wardrobe before we leave. Make-up’s gonna come with, but if you’re wearing the wrong pants for the scene I’ll be pissed.”

Norman jumped up, half-eaten lunch already forgotten. He snatched up his phone again.

“Greatgreatgreat! I’ll just send that tweet, I told the guys I’d start spreading the word about the app today…”

Andy looked after Norman thoughtfully as the other man hurried toward the exit. He felt a bit saddened by the statement that his friend had never had a better time at work than with this silly little thing. The implication, namely that their show was not what it used to be for his friend, was writ large. Sighing, Andy finished his own meal quickly and left the mess hall.

By the end of the day his somber mood, and the sadness he’d felt on Norman’s behalf had been completely wiped out by irritation. Listening to pre-recorded phrases full of swearwords over and over again for an entire afternoon, first on the thirty minute drive to location and then during every single filming break, will do that to you, even if the guy responsible is the cutest fucker in the known world.

And if said cute fucker then reads you out every silly tweet from every silly fan fawning over his latest pet project while you’re trapped alone in a car with him because all of your other colleagues refused to ride with the two of you, you can be forgiven for plotting your sweet revenge, even if you are usually a mild-mannered English gentleman.

*

“Hey man, come on in…”

Andy hardly lets the other man finish the invitation when he’s crowded him back into his trailer, one hand on Norman’s chest, pushing the door shut behind himself with the other.

“Whoa! We’re eager tod…”

Andy has Norman against the back of the door and cuts him off with a passionate kiss before his friend knows what’s happening. No reason not to give it his all, and enjoy the encounter, even if he has ulterior motives here.

After the first moment of shock Norman is more than keen to reciprocate and for a few minutes they are both lost in the moment, mouths exploring, tongues lapping, hands roaming, like so many times before, and yet never boring, somehow.

So they stay for a while, Norman with his back against the door, Andy's hands all over him. The other man’s breath speeding up, Norman moaning into Andy’s mouth tells him all he needs to know to decide when to make his next move.

This is seduction with a purpose, but Andy still enjoys his lover being butter under his hands. He finally undoes Norman’s pants with one hand, freeing his erection. Now he loses no more time. A firm grasp, a few quick strokes up and down along Norman’s length and he starts shuddering under him.

“Andy…d’ya…oh…ooh, lemme…get…ah…you…”

“No man… just you, this time…”

And Norman gives in, leans into Andy, head on his shoulder, breath coming faster and faster. Andy pulls pants and underwear down further, cups Norman’s balls with his other hand, tugs gently.

He knows what he’s doing, he’s got it down to a T, getting Norman off. Groans against his shirt tell him he’s on the right path.

Norman thrusts into his hand now, so close now, soso close.

“Oh god, man, I can’t… ‘m gonna cum.”

“Let go, man, I got ya, c’mon… come for me… God, man, this is so hot…”

Norman lifts his head, leans back all the way, then brings it level with Andy again. Blue eyes, hooded, sparkling, brimming with sex. He gasps, once, then reclaims Andy’s mouth, just as Andy feels his balls tightening; one last thrust into his fist and Norman is there, cum running hotly over Andy’s fingers in several spurts.

Foreheads pressed together Andy enjoys listening to Norman’s gasps and moans, lets him ride out the bliss.

When Norman’s breathing returns to normal Andy plucks a few tissues from a box on the table and wipes his fingers. He drops the tissues into a bin and takes Norman by the shoulders, moving him off the door gently. Norman still looks a little out of it, and Andy plants a quick kiss on his lips, then gives a wink.

“See you in the make-up trailer in five.”

“What? Oh, yeah… sure… Um, Andy…”

But before Norman can finish the sentence Andy has the door open and strides from the trailer. Grinning to himself he pats his pocket.

The plan has worked.

*

“Um, Andy, you haven’t seen my phone, have you?”

“I have, yes. I took it from your pants pocket just now, in your trailer, while you were blissed out.”

“What? Why?!”

“Cos the others asked me to. You’ve been driving us all bonkers with that program…”

“It’s an app.”

“Whatever…”

“Well? Where is it?”

“Hidden in my trailer. I think I managed to turn it off. You can have it back tonight.”

“Andy, dude! That’s so mean, man…”

“Well, it was either that or listen to Steven bitch all day again. There is nowhere to go on that location to get away from you people, and I won’t survive another day like yesterday. Now stop sulking and come on, we’re already late…”

*

_Help, hey dumbass, help!_

“Andy! I thought you took his phone away!”

“I did!”

“Well, what was that, then?”

“I don’t know, Mel…”

_Help, hey dumbass, help!_

“It’s coming from your bag, Andy…”

“What d’you mean? Gimme that… I only got this clever phone last week, I hardly know how to turn it on…”

“Smartphone.”

“What?”

“It’s a smartphone.”

_Help, hey dumbass, help!_

“It certainly is not! It’s a dumb piece of shit…”

“Give it here…”

_Ah, dude, fuck!_

“Hey, Steven, did you have to drop it? How do I… what is this… NORMAN! What did you do?! Make it stop!”

“Not until you give me my phone back. That was sneaky, dude, wanking me off just to get at my phone…”

“Too much info, dude…”

_Can you fuckin be careful..._

“How do I make it stop?! I can’t give you your phone, it’s in my trailer at base camp, we won’t get back til 10pm…”

“Well, y’all will just have to live with it then…”

“NORMAN!”

_Ah, fuck, I’ve never felt so alive!_

“Andy, stop playing with that phone… Guys, this will be the longest day in history…”


End file.
